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SPN fic: "The Lion's Howl" [R] Sam/Dean

Title: The Lion's Howl
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Length: 1480 words
Warnings: Author Chooses Not to Warn
Spoilers: Through the first half of season 4
Prompt: Written for elliemurasaki's spn_bitesized kink-meme prompt.
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Kripke and the CW.
Thanks to: My kick-ass beta, aerye.
Summary: Dean's all fucked up when he comes back from Hell. Sam thinks some kinky sex is the answer.
ETA: Now with podfic by the talented reena_jenkins

“Every wolf's and lion's howl / Raises from Hell a human soul.” – William Blake

Tonight’s salt and burn was a breeze. Dean steps out of the shower and towels off, just a scrape down his side to show for one less vengeful spirit in the world. He wraps the towel around his waist, steps out into the motel room and freezes.

Sam’s turned off the overhead light. He’s lounging naked on his bed, the bedside lamp angled to cast warm light over his skin. (a canvas yearning for an artist to mark it)

Dean swallows. Since he got back from Hell, they’ve barely exchanged hand jobs. And in the two weeks since Dean came clean about just what he’d been up to in Hell, nothing at all. Which makes sense. Dean doesn’t even want to jerk off in the freaking shower anymore, knowing what he did. Knowing how much he liked it, what might pop into his head when he’s close. Sam’s got good reason to keep his distance.

“Hey Dean,” Sam says, voice low and teasing. “Like what you see?”

Yeah, of course he likes what he sees. Sam’s turned him on since the kid was fifteen, big hands and sharp hip-bones. And once upon a time Dean would’ve jumped at the offer, sucked his brother off, fucked him into next week. Now he’s all, all screwed up, with hands that don’t remember how to be gentle. But he still … he still wants Sam. (proud, beautiful, just waiting to be broken)

Dean sits down on the bed, towel lost somehow between the bathroom and here. That’s when he notices that Sam’s got his left hand cuffed to the headboard. The hairs on his arms stand up, and Dean shifts back uncomfortably. “Uh, Sam? What’s with the cuffs?”

“Thought we might try something,” Sam answers smoothly. “Something fun.” Sam slides his right hand under the pillow, comes out with Dean’s Bowie knife and flips it around, offering the handle to him.

Dean automatically grips it, and then looks down at Sam again, naked and cuffed to the bed. Sammy wants him to use the knife for sex? Like some kind of toy? Like Dad hadn’t taught him five ways to kill a man quick with a knife; like Alastair hadn’t shown him a hundred ways to do it slow. (something fun)

Dean ignores the hot lurch of want in his belly and puts the knife down on the bedside table, shaking his head. “No way. Where’s the key to the cuffs?”

Sam shrugs. “I hid it.”

The little bitch has this crazy gift for hiding things in a motel room. It once took Dad three days to find the keys to the Impala when Sammy had a bad feeling about a hunt.

“Where?” Dean demands.

“I forget. But, hey, you know what’s really good for my memory? Oooorgasms,” Sam sing-songs.

“Fine, I’ll use a paperclip.” Dean heads for the pile of his clothes.

“Dean,” Sam says urgently. There’s a catch in his voice like he’s hurt, (that's good, more of that) and Dean can’t help but respond.

“Look, I’ll get you off,” Dean tells him. “But the knife –”

“Gimme a hand with this?” Sam interrupts. He’s fiddling with something attached to the headboard, trying to close another handcuff around his right wrist.

“Seriously?” Dean asks, because there’s stupid, and then there’s crazy, and then there’s this.

“Yeah. I trust you, Dean,” Sam says, eyes dark and serious. “Wanna show you how much.”

And that’s completely fucked up, but Dean finds himself leaning over the bed to help. As the cuff snicks into place around Sam’s wrist something in Dean shifts, loosens. Dean traces a fingertip down the sensitive skin of Sam’s inner arm, following the prominent blue vein, and Sam lets out a long, shaky breath.

Dean sits back. They’ve never played around with bondage before, too worried about being incapacitated if something went wrong. But the sight of Sam restrained on the bed, spread out and helpless, has Dean hard and ready to go. Want-take-mine. Looks like it’s working for Sam, too. His breathing’s already gone funny, dick rising to the occasion.

And this … this is fine. The motel with its cheerful fern wallpaper and off-white sheets is nothing like Hell. Nothing like the screams-sulfur-blood that Dean craves. He kneels between his brother’s legs and reaches for Sam’s dick.

“Knife,” Sam whispers. He never was that good at stringing words together once he got turned on.

“Sammy, you don’t have to do this.”

“Yeah, I do,” Sam disagrees, stubborn tilt to his head.

“World’s pushiest freaking bottom,” Dean mutters, picking up his Bowie knife. Feels so good when the handle slides home into his palm.

Sam’s eyes follow the knife, and Dean can’t resist a little flourish in the air. Dean moves fast and presses the flat of the blade against the big muscle in Sam’s shoulder, watches him flinch. He’d always loved this part, the shared anticipation of what’s to come. Sam hisses a little, but doesn’t say anything, so Dean leans in for a kiss as the metal of the blade warms up to body temperature.

Sam’s lips open under his. Dean licks into Sam’s mouth, lets his tongue brush against the roof of Sam’s mouth. Sam gasps and arches up suddenly. Dean pulls the knife away but Sam’s skin has already been parted by the blade. A few drops of blood bead on the cut. Dean shudders, staring at it. And ... nothing happens. He doesn’t lose control.

Dean’s other hand slams down on Sam’s hip with punishing force. “Don’t move,” he growls. “Don’t you fucking move, Sammy.”

Sam’s dick twitches and he rasps, “’Kay. Won’t.”

Dean rests the tip of his knife in the hollow of Sam’s throat, daring the monster in him to come out and play. His heart pounds. So does Sam’s. Dean can see his jugular pulse with the force of it. Dean knows how little pressure it would take to slide that blade home. Knows what it would feel like, how Sam would choke and spasm, the exact pattern of the blood spray. A part of him wants to try it; wonders what noises Sam would make, how much damage he could inflict before the light went out of his brother’s eyes. But he doesn’t do it. He doesn’t.

Dean’s hands are perfectly steady as he caresses the knife down Sam’s sternum, leaving a barely visible white scratch to mark its passage. Down the medial line of Sam’s perfect six-pack. He put on more muscle while Dean was in Hell. This is a man’s body now, not a boy’s. That much muscle would take some force to push through, especially if Sam was tensed against the pain. But Sam isn’t.

A quiet, husky, “Oh, oh fuck,” escapes from Sam’s mouth while his body stays perfectly still and relaxed under Dean’s blade. The knife reaches Sam’s cock, straining up to meet him. Dean pushes it down with the flat of the blade and Sam moans like a porn star.

“You get all kinky with that demon bitch while I was gone, little brother?” Dean asks. He really wants to know, because Sam wasn’t into this shit before. He never thought Sam would get so fucked up with him gone. “You getting off on the thought of me hurting you?”

He looks up at his brother’s face and Sam, he’s smiling now, a happy little smile that has no place here, in this bed, with this knife a few ounces of pressure from slicing him open. “No,” Sam answers, meeting his eyes. “I’m getting off on knowing you won’t.”

Dean doesn’t deserve that kind of trust, and he knows it. But he needs it like fucking oxygen. He can’t let Sammy down. So he rests the knife down on the table and swipes his fingers through the blood trickling from the cut on Sam’s shoulder. He’s been letting Sam stitch up his own wounds since he got back; didn’t think he could trust himself to do it.

Now, now his hands are trembling as he brings the bloody fingertips to his mouth and lets his tongue lap over them to taste the salty-copper tang of human blood. Sam’s blood tastes like his own, almost comforting in its familiarity. It brings back more memories of Hell.

“Dean, please, fuck, your mouth,” Sam is begging, his hips hitching up, desperate for some friction. They all begged in Hell, screaming and sobbing and whimpering for him to stop, for him to end it. So many ways he could make Sam beg, cuffed and helpless.

Dean finds a smile for his brother. “Yeah, I got you.” He wraps the hand that’s itching for the knife around the base of his brother’s cock and uses his mouth to make Sammy beg some more.

Comments

( 41 comments — Leave a comment )
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tifaching
Aug. 7th, 2010 02:44 am (UTC)
So much YES for trust kink. Sammy's a smart little brother, knows what Dean needs. Perfect and so freakin' hot!
keerawa
Aug. 7th, 2010 04:21 am (UTC)
*high-fives for the trust kink* Sammy's crazy like a fox. Glad it worked for you, tifaching!
morganoconner
Aug. 7th, 2010 05:08 am (UTC)
Okay, yes, that was amazingly well done! And hit buttons I didn't even know I had...

Gorgeous, and hot!! <3
keerawa
Aug. 7th, 2010 07:00 am (UTC)
hit buttons I didn't even know I had
Yay! That's what kink memes are for! Well, that and pandering shamelessly to the ones you already know about ...

Thanks for the comment, morgan!
maraceles
Aug. 7th, 2010 01:33 pm (UTC)
I really like this fic--I love how it showcases Dean dealing with his having been a torturer. I like how he has all these wrong wants, but through everything, his need to keep Sam safe pulls through. I also love the idea of Sam helping Dean to deal with this--that his faith in Dean is firm, sure. I love how he got off, not at the thought of Dean hurting him, but at the knowledge that Dean never would.

On a shallower side, you have my heart for writing a pushy!bottom!Sam. Who hides things in motel rooms. Hee.
keerawa
Aug. 7th, 2010 06:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you, maraceles! Dean doesn't believe he's strong enoughto resist that Hell-born id, but against his love for Sam it never had a chance. his faith in Dean is firm, sure. Yes! Ellie, the OP, said it felt more like a season 5 fic because of that. Which is true. If Sam HAD this much faith in Dean, and was able to prove it to him this way, their relationship wouldn't have spiraled into lies and batrayal the way it did in season 4.

Teehee! I am completely convinced that Sam, as a child, hid things in their motel rooms. It's such a bratty little brother thing to do, and was a way of exerting his will against the Unstoppable Force of John Winchester.
medea34
Aug. 7th, 2010 08:54 pm (UTC)
yummy. bondage, blood play, darkish dean and crazy trusting Sam. yummy.
keerawa
Aug. 7th, 2010 09:04 pm (UTC)
Sam really was a little crazy to sign up for this, because Dean certainly didn't think it was safe. Then again, that trust beyond reason was what Dean needed.

Thanks, medea!
locknkey
Aug. 8th, 2010 04:59 am (UTC)
“World’s pushiest freaking bottom,” best line, ever!

I love the dichotomy of Dean here - the inner struggle vs. the outer display.

I love how Sam wants to give this as a gift and pretty images - guh!

And, the end is lovely.

Edited at 2010-08-08 05:00 am (UTC)
keerawa
Aug. 9th, 2010 06:33 am (UTC)
Heh, you know Sammy would be. Sam's trying to give his brother what he NEEDS, and could never ask for. Thanks, loolookitty!
ash_carpenter
Aug. 8th, 2010 09:59 am (UTC)
Oh, this is awesome! Soooooooooo fucked up! I love it :D

The trust issues are so intricate here, especially since Dean's still got such a strong desire to hurt. I like that you didn't make it all "oh, it's so easy because Dean doesn't even want to hurt Sam". So much more interesting this way, because there is a battle for him, but even he's surprised by how easily he wins it. Sam, of course, is not.
keerawa
Aug. 9th, 2010 06:36 am (UTC)
Actually, I think Dean's attraction to and love for Sam makes hurting him MORE appealing, not less. It's not like torturing some random stranger. It's real. Important. Intimate, in a strange way. And that makes the Hell-trained part of him want it even more. OK, I'm managing to creep myself out now.

Dean honestly didn't know how it would go, but Sam had no doubts.

Thanks, ash_carpenter!
electricalgwen
Aug. 8th, 2010 07:57 pm (UTC)
GAH. I wasn't sure what to expect but wow. Trust kink, omg yes - that's what I loved so, so much about (I think?) 5.18, Sam taking Dean with him - and this was really powerful.
keerawa
Aug. 9th, 2010 06:39 am (UTC)
I intentionally chose to avoid giving much away with warnings and the summary. Dean walks into this blind, so I wanted my readers to, as well.

I think Trust is the basis of all BDSM. I agree, Sam's trust of Dean 5.18, having enough faith for BOTH of them, was amazing. In this fic I just got them there a year early. Thanks electricalgwen!
jaysawyer
Aug. 8th, 2010 11:56 pm (UTC)
Wow! Loved the way they kept daring each other to lose control but kept it for each other too. So hot1 Nothing is hotter than skating the edge of control and holding on for the OTHER. Oh my. Fuck yeah.
keerawa
Aug. 9th, 2010 06:40 am (UTC)
*nods* Dean holding it together for his brother is a beautiful thing. Thanks jaysawer!
zubeneschamali
Aug. 9th, 2010 03:13 am (UTC)
So, so awesome. There was a prompt just like this on spnkink_meme a few cycles back that has been haunting me ever since I saw it, and this was a great fill, even if it was for a different meme. My trust kink is huge, and the knife one's pretty big as well, so this was a great combination.
keerawa
Aug. 9th, 2010 06:51 am (UTC)
Thanks, zuben! I'm not surprised that it's come up before. How could I say no to canonical knifeplay? (Love the icon, BTW.)

loveme_likethat
Aug. 10th, 2010 02:41 am (UTC)
HIGH FIVE, DUDE!

“Yeah. I trust you, Dean,” Sam says, eyes dark and serious. “Wanna show you how much.”

Oh hell to the yeah, baby.
keerawa
Aug. 10th, 2010 03:45 am (UTC)
*grins* I know, right? If only they did THIS during season 4, there'd be no Apocalypse to worry about.
locknkey
Aug. 17th, 2010 12:02 am (UTC)
Congrats! Your fic is recced here at crack_impala
keerawa
Aug. 17th, 2010 12:27 am (UTC)
Oh, thanks, I hadn't realized!
(no subject) - locknkey - Aug. 17th, 2010 12:29 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - keerawa - Aug. 17th, 2010 12:39 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - locknkey - Aug. 17th, 2010 12:44 am (UTC) - Expand
scubarang
Aug. 23rd, 2010 04:53 am (UTC)
“No,” Sam answers, meeting his eyes. “I’m getting off on knowing you won’t.”

I loved Sammy here and the whole scenario was wicked and wonderfully done. I think the last line pretty much encapsulates your Dean in this piece.

Beautiful.
keerawa
Aug. 23rd, 2010 05:17 am (UTC)
Sam's faith in his brother here is inspiring and a bit terrifying, to me. Thank you so much for the feedback, scubarang!
(Deleted comment)
keerawa
Sep. 18th, 2010 05:42 pm (UTC)
*laughs* Yeah, that's pretty much what I was going for here. Thanks for the comment, maya!
orukaz
Sep. 16th, 2010 03:00 pm (UTC)
/“Seriously?” Dean asks, because there’s stupid, and then there’s crazy, and then there’s this./

I LOVE that sentence. So true, but if it works… <3
keerawa
Sep. 18th, 2010 05:44 pm (UTC)
Thanks! It does seem a bit like sticking your head in the lion's mouth, doesn't it? But Dean sure needed it.
maerhys
Sep. 16th, 2010 03:31 pm (UTC)
This is so hot — and really well done.
keerawa
Sep. 18th, 2010 05:51 pm (UTC)
Thanks, I'm glad it worked for you!
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( 41 comments — Leave a comment )