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dS Snippet: The Return of Nautilus

Fandom; Characters: due South; Fraser, RayK
Rating: G
Word Count: 300
Challenge: Written for the ds_snippets Challenge#28, prompt: "mirror"
Spoilers: Spy vs. Spy
Thanks to: _scally and viciouscats for Russian-language assistance, and kill_claudio for the lightning-fast beta.

"Got it!" Ray yelled, pulling out a note hidden inside a Bose speaker in the ritzy Gold Coast apartment they'd just ransacked. "Can you read this thing?"

Fraser scanned the text.

"Come on, come on! We've been on Nautilus's trail all week, and Pike said she'll be catching a flight out of the country tonight."

"I think … yes." Fraser raced into the bedroom, almost tripping over a silver-haired Persian, and held the note up in the mirror. "It's Cyrillic, written in a relatively simple code, a form of mirror-writing with some aspects of Pig Latin."

"So what's it say?"

"When the buyers are ready, they should send a parcel by bike messenger to 310 West 38th Street."

"Right, I'm on it!" said Ray, pulling out his cell phone.

"… and the parcel must include both this note and a cat."

Both men turned as one to look at the feline eyeing them disdainfully from under the bed.

Ten minutes later…

"I swear, Fraser, the lady has lost it. Sure, she may be a super-spy, but she's old, you know? First they get to smelling funny, then their brains start to go bad, like milk that's been in the fridge too long."

"Ah …"

"Do not even try to ah me, because this is just twisted. Sticking a cat in a box is cruel!"

"Ray?"

"Plus," Ray dabbed at the deep scratches covering his hands and arms, "not so easy to do."

"Ray. I believe I mistranslated. The note actually requires the parcel to contain this note and a kettle, kotel, rather than a cat, kotek."

Ray turned and stared for a moment, then walked out of the apartment.

"Ray?"

Silence.

"Nautilus really does have the most appalling handwriting," Fraser apologized to the snarling, quivering cardboard box on the floor.

Comments

( 46 comments — Leave a comment )
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r_vecchio
Aug. 20th, 2007 12:09 am (UTC)
ooc
LMAO!!!

SO! GREAT!

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD
keerawa
Aug. 20th, 2007 12:38 am (UTC)
Re: ooc
*grins* Thanks Vecchio!
akite
Aug. 20th, 2007 12:10 am (UTC)
*snort* Good one. Poor kitty.
keerawa
Aug. 20th, 2007 12:40 am (UTC)
Oh, I think the kitty will get her revenge when Fraser lets her OUT of the box. Thanks for the comment, akite!
(no subject) - jamoche - Aug. 20th, 2007 03:38 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - keerawa - Aug. 20th, 2007 06:07 am (UTC) - Expand
kill_claudio
Aug. 20th, 2007 12:13 am (UTC)
Oh, poor cat! *pets it* I know I've said this already, but this is without doubt the most I've laughed all day. ♥♥♥
keerawa
Aug. 20th, 2007 12:42 am (UTC)
Always glad to give you a laugh. Thanks again for the beta!
ithildyn
Aug. 20th, 2007 12:20 am (UTC)
LOL! That was awesome! And hilarious.
keerawa
Aug. 20th, 2007 12:45 am (UTC)
*chuckles* Thanks, ith! Actually, my original inspiration had them duct-taping the cat to the window (ala X-files), but I decided that even they might re-check the note before doing THAT.
viciouscats
Aug. 20th, 2007 12:52 am (UTC)
Heeeee! Hilarious. *remembers recent vet visit with her cat* *shudders* Poor Ray! :D


Though I have to point out that "kotel" means "cauldron", "copper" or "boiler", not "tea kettle" (which would be "chainik"). But that's beside the point, don't mind me. I really enjoyed this snippet. :)
keerawa
Aug. 20th, 2007 02:01 am (UTC)
Cats are well and truly vicious when displeased. Oh, and thanks for the catch! I didn't know you spoke Russian! Katerina said, "kettle", and I just assumed... *rushes off to fix it*
(no subject) - viciouscats - Aug. 20th, 2007 02:27 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - keerawa - Aug. 20th, 2007 03:27 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - viciouscats - Aug. 20th, 2007 03:53 am (UTC) - Expand
vsee
Aug. 20th, 2007 03:08 am (UTC)
Great bit, and I love the tie in to the ep.
keerawa
Aug. 20th, 2007 03:28 am (UTC)
Thank you, vsee!
mackiedockie
Aug. 20th, 2007 03:10 am (UTC)
Now I'm really wondering where Dief is during this episode--and what he had to say to the cat...*g*
keerawa
Aug. 20th, 2007 03:31 am (UTC)
Oh, I'm sure Dief'd have more sense than to try boxing a cat. And may I say what a pleasure it is to participate in a fandom where a deaf half-wolf is the voice of reason?

Do we have some kind of count-down going for HLWW8? Excited!
(no subject) - mackiedockie - Aug. 20th, 2007 03:43 am (UTC) - Expand
ifreet
Aug. 20th, 2007 05:05 am (UTC)
Hee! That is funny! Poor Ray, poor cat!
keerawa
Aug. 20th, 2007 05:08 am (UTC)
*grins* Thanks ifreet! Both Ray and the cat are not amused.
luzula
Aug. 20th, 2007 06:25 am (UTC)
Oh, that's hilarious!
keerawa
Aug. 20th, 2007 07:09 am (UTC)
*giggles* Thanks, luzula! Tell me -- are you at peace with your iconless existance, or are you just waiting for inspiration to strike?
(no subject) - luzula - Aug. 20th, 2007 11:31 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - leafy22 - Aug. 20th, 2007 07:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - luzula - Aug. 20th, 2007 08:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - keerawa - Aug. 20th, 2007 08:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - luzula - Aug. 20th, 2007 08:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
eledhwenlin
Aug. 20th, 2007 07:16 am (UTC)
Oh, the poor cat!
keerawa
Aug. 20th, 2007 07:28 am (UTC)
No cats were harmed during the making of this snippet. Thanks for the comment!
_scally
Aug. 20th, 2007 07:37 am (UTC)
Hee hee...a cat in a box!
Someone call animal cops! :-)
keerawa
Aug. 20th, 2007 07:46 am (UTC)
In Fraser's defense, at the time he believed that the cat's temporary imprisonment was necessary step in effecting the capture of a dangerous criminal. Thanks for the help, Katerina!
(no subject) - keerawa - Aug. 20th, 2007 07:46 am (UTC) - Expand
leafy22
Aug. 20th, 2007 07:41 pm (UTC)
Brilliant! This really made me laugh! and the great kettles conversation rolls on...
keerawa
Aug. 20th, 2007 08:02 pm (UTC)
Thanks, leafy! The funny thing is I'd had his whole discussion with kill_claudio over American vs. British tea kettles. And then, when I wrote to Katerina asking her for a common household item, the word for which could easily be mistaken for "cat" when written in Russian, she shot back, "kettle".

Its like there's something in the air...
nos4a2no9
Aug. 20th, 2007 10:26 pm (UTC)
Oh man, that's brilliant. *wipes away a tear* Very fun, and vintage due South wackiness.
keerawa
Aug. 20th, 2007 11:38 pm (UTC)
*grins* I'm at one with the wacky. I was skimming the transcript for "Spy vs. Spy", and -- dS canon is NUTS. Those conversations between Fraser and Mr. Pike are psychedelic.

Thanks for the comment, Alexis!
brigantine
Aug. 20th, 2007 11:14 pm (UTC)
The Mountie is in *so* much trouble!

The last line is perfection! *cackle*
keerawa
Aug. 20th, 2007 11:40 pm (UTC)
Oh, he is, he really is. Between the cat in the box and Ray waiting in the car...

The last line made me titter when I wrote it, so I'm glad it works for you, too!
mickeymvt
Aug. 21st, 2007 01:12 am (UTC)
*laughs and laughs*

keerawa
Aug. 21st, 2007 01:27 am (UTC)
Glad you had fun with it!
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( 46 comments — Leave a comment )