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RemixRedux08 Reveal, huzzah!

I just found out that simplystars wrote And the Hero Will Drown (Lost in Space Remix) as a pinch-hit remix of my Farscape snippet Drifting. It's a spectacular remix, that picks up all of the themes of my original, but is written from the POV of John's father, Jack.

I remixed Réveillé (The Night Terrors Remix) from etben's Looking. It's first-person, present-tense, angsty and a bit dark. So I assumed everybody would know it was mine. But apparently not!

I started off by reading through etben's work. I was hoping to remix one of my favorites of hers. (The woman is a master of hot FKV threesomes!) But all of them seemed too complete. They left me feeling satisfied, without that "What if" itch that drives me to write.

Then I read "Looking", an un-beta'd ficlet etben wrote while avoiding her stop_drop_porn entry. And that "What if" bit hard. The Fraser in that piece seemed so needy. What was he thinking, laying there watching Ray? What did he get out of it? Had he ever done this with anyone before? Maybe he had never had the chance to watch over a lover before.

The remix was born.

Then nothing happened, for weeks and weeks. I just wasn't ever in the mood to write this introspective, angsty piece. Suddenly I had three days until the thing was due, and nothing but two sentences of typed text and a few paragraphs of notes written out long-hand on the bus to show for it.

I started looking for a title, hoping that would jump-start me. etben had titled the post of her original story "ceci n'est pas du porn", so I thought something in French might be nice. I used English-French dictionaries, looking for waking, awake, things like that. I found the word 'réveillé.' I liked it because it meant awake, there was a good chance English speakers would recognize it from the military usage, and it also sounded a bit like revelation. This was a story in which Fraser would reveal things about himself.

Now that I had a title, I figured the story would just flow. No such luck. My Fraser Muse just did not want to tell me the story. akamine_chan, one of my betas, said, "The narration is formal and self-conscious and fits perfectly - Fraser
is telling us this story and he's not totally comfortable with it." Maybe that's why it was such a bitch to write. Fraser was ashamed of himself and his conduct here, and it was a knock-down drag-out to get this thing written down.

I actually went back and looked through etben's stories again, wondering if I should pick something else to re-write. But none of the other pieces compelled me, so I went back to my remix.

Finally, 5 hours before the deadline, I had the story written down. Unfortunately, it was 850 words long. My scream was long and loud.

I went back and re-wrote Fraser's first-time with Ray as a flashback, rather than Fraser sharing a memory. That took care of the length problem, and I like the way it came out.

3 hours before the deadline, I sent the piece off to my betas. (I'd arranged for a last-minute beta ahead of time, KNOWING this was going to happen.) omphale23 and akamine_chan were troopers - they got back to me within the hour, reigning in my unique punctuation and helping make the flashback transition more clear. I'm still not completely happy with the ending, but it's better than in the first version!

I submitted my story, panting, under the wire.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
akamine_chan
May. 4th, 2008 05:22 am (UTC)
I'm so glad you got some use out of my so-called "beta." I kept reading it over, knowing it needed something, but totally unable to articulate what that something was.

But, all-in-all, I think this worked out perfectly. Fraser's reticence in telling his story translated into your difficulty in writing it and my difficulties in beta'ing it...

And it did come out rather nicely...

*gives you a hug for all of your hard work*
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )