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Memorable Moments Meme

nos4a2no9 posted a list of her favorites yesterday, and I thought I'd try my hand at it.

These are "Not my favorite fics, or the ones I read all the time, but just the moments that I replay in my head sometimes when I am sitting on the subway or driving for a long time or stopped at a red light or staring at the ceiling in my bedroom."

And while I love happy stories, these moments are heavy on the angst. It's those moments that make my stomach clench that make the greatest impression on me. Don't worry, there's some porn in there too!

10. Near the end of salieri's Real Boys, Ray unpacks the polite, obedient bot that used to be Fraser, and realizes he's made a terrible mistake.

9. In nos4a2no9's Wings of Desire the moment where Angel!Ray decribes the man in the red tunic. Let me quote it here: "But he doesn't pray for himself. He prays for others. He prays for them all. And he risks himself every day because he wants so badly to give of himself, for others to give to him. He's beautiful."

8. In kat_allison's The End of the Road, the moment where Fraser is alone by the river, glorying in the silence and privacy. That's the point where I finally stopped hoping that Kat would FIX them.

7. In Kellie's Matthews' Turning, the moment where Ray hits his head while skiing. Fraser runs over, sees the blood on the snow, flashes back to his mother's death, and is absolutely convinced that Ray is dead. Even Ray talking to him fails to convince him otherwise.

6. Our first glimpse of Dr. Ray Kowalski in aukestrel's Strange Loops. "Look around. Find a desk. That's mine." I fell in love.

5. In cesperanza's Kowalski is Bleeding, the moment Vecchio sees Fraser sitting at the table clutching Kowalski's broken glasses. Then he knows what was between the two of them. And so do we.

4. In Zen & Nancy's The Politics of X there's a point of no return. Fraser's been slipped some Ecstacy. He's tripping, touching himself, wanting Ray to touch him. And Ray knows that it's not consensual, and that it's wrong, and that Fraser will never forgive him. But he just can't say no.

3. It feels a bit strange to mention two pieces by the same author, but the images from troyswann's ficlet Vibrato have become a permanent part of my dreamscape. A man dances in the rain, and then there's a moment when space buckles inside Fraser, opens, and a coldness leaks out, the kind that comes when a body that has warmed you has gone, and then the other Fraser is there, in the window, too.

2. js_cavalcante's Makeup is quite simply the most incendiary piece of porn I've ever read. There are several moments that I treasure. But at one point, Fraser is having sex with Frannie, sliding inside her. Ray is there, and he thinks that Fraser's just tolerating his presence (since they're being forced to have sex at gunpoint, and all.) Ray reaches out and starts touching Frannie's clit, to help her come. Fraser looks down, sees his stomach brushing over Ray's knuckles, and has to pull out before he loses control. Guh.

1. Fraser and Ray dancing around each other in the kitchen in busaikko's Ordinary Days. Ray finds moments of joy in the midst of what could be tragedy, and builds himself a life out of them.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 17th, 2009 04:35 am (UTC)
Oh, wow. I came for the links to the angsty goodness, and got kind of verklempt to find me there. Thank you!

Mostly, though, thank you for the angsty goodness. I so appreciate people who are organized enough to actually have links on hand. I think of how long it would take me to find links on dial-up and I get so tired. So thank you for the links!
Jan. 18th, 2009 03:43 am (UTC)
You are very welcome! del.icio.us makes linking a lot easier.
Jan. 17th, 2009 04:51 am (UTC)
This is a GREAT list. And I say so not because you included Wings, of course, but because the rest of the stories are FANTASTIC and you've picked terrific moments from each of them. And I love your description of JS's story, because it really, really is :-) And "The Politics of X"! I'd forgotten all about that story, but it is a tremendous fic and an amazing bit of writing. Wow.

Okay. This is great. Thank you for reminding me about all of these!
Jan. 18th, 2009 03:52 am (UTC)
"The Politics of X" IS amazing. Hot and disturbing.
Jan. 17th, 2009 06:25 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you for this wonderful list - and I don't know all of them, so more discovery to be had.

I must say The End Of The Road is harder for me to take than some of the Due South main character death stories (and those are hard enough to take already). I think it's because when death separates the characters in a story the love has not ended, but Kat Allison's story reminds you that in life often life itself and living together can end love - and that's a bit too real for what I want to get out of fan fic most time. If that makes any sense.
Jan. 18th, 2009 03:54 am (UTC)
I agree - I read "The End of the Road" 2 years ago, and was so over-whelmed that I was unable to write a feedback comment.

I never actually recovered enough to send the feedback.
Jan. 17th, 2009 07:51 am (UTC)
Awwww...wow. I'm touched...and very amused by the description of Makeup as "incendiary porn." The future grandchildren will be so proud. ;)

Seriously, I'm glad you enjoyed it that much. You're one of my favorite authors, and although you have a higher tolerance than I for tragedy and angst, I love your recs and always enjoy your insights into stories, so I am thrilled to have written one of your most memorable fanfic moments. \o/\o/\o/

As to the rest of your list--WOW. I'm in some amazing company here. I loved most of these stories so much. Often the moments that I'd have chosen from them are different, but the ones you chose are terrific, too, of course. "Wings of Desire" is just one of my favorite DS stories ever, and the scene that gets me most is the scene in the church, where Fallen!Angel!Ray thinks he is dying and wishes he could see something beautiful, maybe his Mountie, even if only in his imagination, at the point of death. God! When I listen to zabira's podfic of that story, I burst into tears at that moment, every time.

And AuKestrel's Strange Loops is my favorite DS AU ever, ever, ever (and yes, that includes the Hockey!fic, which I love to distraction). I, too, lost my heart entirely to Dyslexic!Genius!Ray right there and forever. *sigh*

"Kowalski is Bleeding," oh my God, yes. That moment KILLS. Yes. And that's saying something, because there are so many heartrending moments in that story. Finally, I think "Real Boys" is brilliant, and "Ordinary Days" is excellent and breaks my freaking heart. There are a couple of items on your list that I don't remember well enough, but I don't have time to click on Kellie's story right now, because I know I'll get happily lost in it and then will want to immerse myself in her entire oeuvre. And I don't reread EOTR (I never did stop hoping that they'd fix it).

I'm not commenting on the rest only because I have to get back to work and try to be even more incendiary, because, darn it, I am going to get the Girl!Ray story finished...

Oh, one more thing. I recently put Makeup on the dueSlash archive in one piece; you might want to post this link instead so that people won't run into 1) the f-lock and B) the hassle of having to retrieve the story in seven parts.

Anyway, thanks for sharing this list; it made my day.

Jan. 18th, 2009 04:01 am (UTC)
*nods* The church moment in 'Wings of Desire' is amazing, and heart-wenching. I am SO looking forward to that Girl!Ray story. An dI've updated the link to 'Make-up'. I'll like it better in one piece, when I re-read.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )