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dS snippet: Bad for the Soul

Fandom; Character: due South; Ray K
Rating: PG
Word Count: 300
Summary: Ever wonder why the officers of the 2-7 suddenly decided to move on Warfield?
Challenge: Written for the ds_snippets Challenge #100, prompt: spin, stalk
Warning: Rather dark
Author's Notes: Thanks to my beta, nos4a2no9. I have never worked so hard on a snippet. Five complete rewrites? Sheesh.

I rest my forehead against the cool wall, remembering Fraser slumped, bleeding, on the curb outside Warfield’s club. Fraser’d tried appealing to our sense of justice. It got him nowhere. Not with the witnesses. Not with the officers. Not even with me.

Fraser’s voice was hoarse and dull as he gave his statement. Like he’d given up. My knuckles tap the wall.

I can fix this.

Every detective in the bullpen is tense, worked up. I can use that. Dewey laughs. I spin off the wall and get in his face.

“You think this is funny? The only reason Fraser’s not in the hospital is he’s too stubborn to go! They broke a fucking 2-by-4 over his back,” I snarl.

Huey steps in. “Look, Ray -”

“He’s my partner.”

Huey looks away.

“There is one thing that keeps us safe out there,” I say, stalking around the room, staring everybody down. “Only one. The bad guys know, you fuck with one cop; you get the entire CPD coming down on you like a ton of bricks. We let this slide, and word gets out on the streets? It’s open season. Tomorrow the Latin Kings are taking pot shots at us.”

“But –” Roberts interrupts.

I point at her. “And next week, the mob’s snatching our kids off the playground.”

Roberts settles back against her desk, wide-eyed. The back of my neck prickles with the fear and adrenaline in the air. Why couldn’t they do this for the right reasons?

I show my teeth. “So, anybody else in the mood for an under-aged drinking sweep?”

“We’ll pick up the Constable on the way,” Welsh announces from the doorway, and everybody moves.

Fraser can go right on living in that perfect Chicago of his. I’ll be watching his back from this one.

Comments

( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
spuffyduds
Feb. 16th, 2009 04:39 am (UTC)
Oh, Ray. Such a smart way to go at it, while his heart is breaking that the other way didn't work for Fraser, even with Ray himself. Ouchy.
keerawa
Feb. 17th, 2009 09:07 am (UTC)
Thanks, Spuffyduds. He's not proud of what's going on, that's for sure.
springwoof
Feb. 16th, 2009 04:44 am (UTC)
wow. perfect. but painful, like a punch in the gut.
great Ray voice.
keerawa
Feb. 17th, 2009 09:07 am (UTC)
Thanks, springwoof!
mackiedockie
Feb. 16th, 2009 05:18 am (UTC)
You realize, every time you write one of these things, it makes me come closer to the dark side of Due South.
keerawa
Feb. 17th, 2009 09:07 am (UTC)
Red rover, red rover, send mackiedockie right over! Ummm ... we have cookies? And pretty Candians?
akamine_chan
Feb. 22nd, 2009 07:47 am (UTC)
And lots of really, really talented writers...*tempts*
mizface
Feb. 16th, 2009 05:47 am (UTC)
Fraser can go right on living in that perfect Chicago of his. I’ll be watching his back from this one.

Oof. This line especially packed a punch, though I loved it all. Loved Ray for getting Fraser help, using whatever he had to to get results. And love that he'll never let on what he said to do it, that he'll let Fraser keep his Chicago in his head.
keerawa
Feb. 17th, 2009 09:10 am (UTC)
I (just like Fraser) assumed that the officers were acting against Warfield because it was the right thing to do - until this week, when I started thinking it through. Thank you for the comment, mizface!
j_s_cavalcante
Feb. 16th, 2009 05:54 am (UTC)
Kapow! A haymaker from RayK fells the opposition.

Stella would be awed.

Brilliant work!

Worth the rewrites. :)

keerawa
Feb. 17th, 2009 09:11 am (UTC)
Huh. You know, I think you're right. Stella has certainly used a jury's worst instincts to get them to convict, and I'm sure she'd be delighted to see Ray pulling this off. Ray, however? He'll do it, because it needs doing. But he's not proud of it.
j_s_cavalcante
Feb. 17th, 2009 09:30 am (UTC)
You know what? I don't think Stella would be proud of herself in that circumstance, either. She'd be satisfied that she'd done the right thing in a bad situation. I keep thinking of her face when Dwayne the bomber confronts his ex-wife on the steps of the courthouse, or when she realizes Orsini has deceived her and broken the law. She's a good person, and she does what she has to do to maintain the right. Hm. No wonder Ray adores her. He's got a thing for those types. :)

Huh. Sadly, I have no Stella icon. :(
luzula
Feb. 16th, 2009 12:03 pm (UTC)
Oh, this is so good. It's interesting that Ray admits to himself that Fraser's talk of justice didn't work on him, and that that isn't why he's doing this. But I get the feeling that he still feels bad about refusing Fraser.

The last line really packs a punch. And I like the short, snappy sentences.
keerawa
Feb. 19th, 2009 06:07 pm (UTC)
I think Ray feels terrible about the effect it had on Fraser, and he sort of wishes he was the kind of idealist who does things because they're the right thing to do.

Thanks, luzula!
themoo37
Feb. 16th, 2009 02:29 pm (UTC)
very nice
I can totally see Ray K playing it this way. I sounds so sad but true.
keerawa
Feb. 19th, 2009 06:08 pm (UTC)
Re: very nice
*nods* Whatever it takes to get the job done, themoo37.
love_jackianto
Feb. 16th, 2009 03:30 pm (UTC)
'Fraser can go right on living in that perfect Chicago of his. I’ll be watching his back from this one.'
That's kind of sad. Glad to see Ray had Fraser's back
keerawa
Feb. 19th, 2009 06:09 pm (UTC)
Very sad, because Fraser sees this as a bright shining moment, where his faith in human nature is reaffirmed. And Ray knows that it's ... not.
leafy22
Feb. 18th, 2009 10:36 pm (UTC)
This is a really atmospheric piece - with a great last line.
keerawa
Feb. 19th, 2009 06:09 pm (UTC)
Thanks very much, leafy22!
akamine_chan
Feb. 22nd, 2009 07:51 am (UTC)
Wow, excellent, keerawa. Well worth the rewrites, as it pulls together perfectly. And the last line kills.

Gritty and real.
keerawa
Mar. 1st, 2009 07:32 am (UTC)
Thank you, aka! Sometimes, Fraser's optimism about human nature doesn't quite hold up against the realities of being a cop in the big city.
akuni
Aug. 4th, 2009 11:14 pm (UTC)
Guh. This brought the whole scene right up in front of my eyes again. Your words plus those images - pow - one-two, you brought tears to my eyes.
keerawa
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:46 am (UTC)
Thank you, akuni. This one upsets me. Due South is a show filled with optimism, but for whatever reason I tend to pull up the rocks and go looking underneath.
(Deleted comment)
keerawa
Apr. 6th, 2011 01:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you! This is one of my favorite snippets, for capturing the contrast between the optimism of due South and the sometimes ugly realities of policework.
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )